Overcome

I am behind on work.

I am severely behind on work.

I am severely behind on work, because I am depressed.

I am depressed because … I am severely behind on work.

Fuck you, circular logic. Let’s restart.

I am depressed because…

I stay up all night watching random shit on youtube. This happens (Fuck you, self-victimization.) I make this happen once, twice weekly or sometimes every other night.

If it’s not youtube, it’s reddit. If it’s not reddit, it’s real estate sites like streeteasy. If it’s not streeteasy, it’s tv. If it’s not tv, it’s sleeping. If it’s not sleeping (usually in the daytime), it’s socializing and drinking. If it’s not hangovers, it’s obsessive-compulsive cleaning and organizing.

I am addicted to … stimulus.

That’s basically what all addictions are. You want to be stimulated and you want it so badly you become irresponsible. Boredom will probably not induce much fear, but the fear of it is exactly what you are running away from.

Fear of boredom. Fear of emptiness.

Remember: The very first Itch to satisfy your addiction is a feeling. It’s just a feeling. Feelings come and go. You simply need to get into a habit, a routine, a discipline of 1) acknowledging the Itch by saying a little line like Thank you, Mind, for bringing this Itch up to me; 2) letting it pass through your thoughts and feelings; and 3) keeping your day going.  

Mike Tyson, while reflecting his extensive time in rehab, noted, “It’s not a tough man’s world. It’s a thinking man’s world.”

I know I said explanations don’t amount to much and that solutions are much more critical, even on a trial-and-error basis.

However, I sense this…

This will help.

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Discipline Calls

I don’t want to do, but I have to.

Even if I was doing something

more interesting

more novel

just straight sexier

It wouldn’t matter. Work is work, whether you’re a rock star or a bookkeeper.

Acknowledge –even if it’s only to The Self– that this is hard.

The Monkey rebels, disrupts and rocks the boat for a reason.

The work is shit, but it’s still work.

Get to work.

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Working Rules for Monkey Management

  1. It’s not as bad as you think it is.
  2. Don’t try to get everything done today. Just the most important stuff.
    2a. Not everything is “most important.”
  3. Go to bed and wake up at the same times.
    3a. Try 11:30pm-7am.
    3b. Stick to this even on weekends.
    3c. At least wake up 7am even if you can’t be in bed by 12am.
  4. Never hesitate to communicate (to clients).
    4a. Heads up on delays!
    4b. Ask for forgiveness.
  5. Be your own coach. Manage the monkey!
  6. Think about the successful men you want to imitate.
  7. Sleep, nutrition+water, exercise, socialize, meditate: Strive for Five!
  8. Don’t forget to socialize at workplace every now and then.
  9. What is the big picture? What is your main goal?
    9a. What is your “arrival”?
  10.  It only gets harder if you don’t try.
    10a. This moment is the hardest it gets, as long as you keep trying.
  11. Describe how lucky you are: “I get to do _____ AND I get paid for it?!”
  12. You can conquer anything as long as you conquer yourself.
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